My Mother told me once that I have an addictive personality. She was so right. Addiction comes in many forms. It bothers me, when I see commercials on TV saying that someone can be cured from their addiction. That is just not true. One can choose not to do something anymore, but you are never "cured". It is a choice.
I am an addict. I have been an addict of one thing or another since junior high. This may be shocking to some readers, but it is a true confession of mine. I will always be an addict. One's mind usually goes to alcohol or drugs, but there are so many more ways one can be an addict. So, let's examine mine, shall we?
My first addiction is to nude pictures. It started, when I was 8. I was in the gift shop at the Columbia Airport and saw my first girlie magazine. I became obsessed with magazines like Playboy. I found a couple of places in the woods, where kids would stash Playboy Magazines. To say the least, it was eye-opening. Later on, this addiction went to pornography. By the time I was in high school, I had a fake ID, and I went to see movies for those people over 18. At first, they were foreign films from France or Scandinavia. Later, they were hardcore films from the U.S. When I got to be 18. I could see them without my fake ID. Without bragging, I would estimate I have seen thousands of these films. When videotape came along, I was able to see these movies without leaving the house. I also subscribed to Playboy TV on cable, as well as the magazine. My need for this started to subside in 2009, when I had a conversion experience. But, I am still an addict, even if I don't partake in the addiction.
My second addiction is to cigarettes. I was in junior high, when I discovered smoking. I would ride my bike around and see cigarettes on the dashboard of a parked car that was unlocked. I would steal them. I would also ride around high school parking lots and smoke the cigarettes thrown on the ground by students who had been smoking in their cars between classes. When I got home, I would wash my hands in mouthwash and eat a whole pack of breath mints to get the smell off of me. I don't know if it fooled my mother, but I always had an excuse if she asked me about it. I stopped smoking for a time, but picked it back up in college. I graduated from cigarettes to cigars. It made me look cool. I stopped smoking in 1984 and really can't stand the smell of it anymore.
My third addiction was shoplifting. I used the past tense here, because it is no longer an issue with me. This was mostly in junior high and high school. I was in a club in high school made up of three boys. Each trying to outdo the other. I got an old army jacket and cut pockets out in the inside to put my stuff, unless the item was too big, and then I just carried it out of the store. The main items I would take were toys, magazines, books and records. In 1969, I got caught stealing a book from a department store. I convinced the store detective that it was my first time, so he turned me over to my parents. I should have gone to jail, because I had been taking stuff for at least four years. That experience became a positive, when I worked in retail. I knew what to look for.
My fourth addiction is to alcohol. I started on my trip to Europe and Israel in 1973. It began with wine and brandy. By the time I got to Presbyterian College, it moved on to beer and rum. When I was in Fort Worth, I had graduated to vodka. At the height of my drinking, I was putting down a six-pack of beer and a quart of vodka a day. It is a miracle that I wasn't killed in an auto crash or with alcohol poisoning. My last drink was in 1999. I choose not to drink, but I know it would only take one to put me back in that stupor.
My fifth addiction is to drugs. It started, when I went to college at Anderson. I first did cocaine. I stopped, when I had such a bad nosebleed that it rivaled the horse's head scene from "The Godfather". I also took uppers and downers to get me through plays and the aftermaths. I also did a hit of LSD during that time, but it wasn't for me. When I got to Presbyterian College, I was introduced to marijuana. I didn't like it very much, except for one time in Atlanta. I stopped doing any drugs after 1981. I know it would only take one to go back to that life.
My sixth addiction may sound strange to some, but it is music collecting and memorabilia. At one time, I had the second largest Beatles video collection in the world (verified). I had to have anything Beatles. Then, it moved to other things like autographs. That is where I am now. This addiction of mine is current. I do sell my things on eBay, Amazon and Discogs online. I am trying to not buy as much now, because I need money for food.
There are one or two more that I could write about, but I think you get the picture. I have an addictive personality. My addiction now is trying to inspire others and care about others. Even though I will always be an addict, I am not the person I once was. Thanks be to God and my Savior Jesus Christ. Thanks also to my friends who got me through a lot of these issues. Thanks.
No comments:
Post a Comment