Boiling

  My neighborhood friends, growing up, were great to be around.  We loved playing army in the backyard.  The neighbors behind us had a treehouse.  That was fun just to hangout, until it rotted and fell down.  We would get into trouble, just like kids would do, but we had fun doing it.  I liked to go to the house behind us, because both parents worked.  We could get into trouble, and their parents wouldn't find out.  If they did, they would get yelled at by their father who was in the military.  I could hear him yelling at them with their windows shut.  I was usually an instigator, and others would carry out my ideas.  It worked well.

 One morning, we didn't have school and were bored.  I was over at their house, and we decided to play phone pranks.  We were in elementary school.  We started out with the familiar stuff like calling random numbers and asking if their refrigerator was running.  That was fun, until we called a military base by accident.  They threatened to call the police, so we moved onto other things.

 We had a plan.  We would call a random number and pretend we were the phone company.  We needed to test their phone line.  I was doing the calling, because my voice was a little deeper than the other kids.  A woman answered the phone.  (I'll call her Mrs. Smith)  The conversation went something like this:

 Me:  Mrs. Smith?  This is the telephone company.  We have had reports of a problem with your phone.  

 Mrs. Smith:  You have?  I think everything is okay with it.

 Me:  Do you mind helping us over the phone to check it?

 Mrs. Smith:  All right.  What would you like me to do?

 Me:  Can you unscrew the receiver and tap on the metal plate inside it?  (I could hear some unscrewing of plastic and a tapping sound)  That's fine, Mrs. Smith, but it does sound like there is some dirt in your phone.  Are you in the kitchen?

 Mrs. Smith:  Yes, I am.  I am making some tea.

 Me:  Is the water boiling?

 Mrs. Smith:  Yes, it is.

 Me:  Okay, Mrs. Smith.  I'm going to need for you to drop the receiver in the boiling water to clean out your phone.

 (Mrs. Smith sounded hesitant):  Well, okay, if you think it will help.

 Me:  It will.

We heard a crackling noise, and then her phone went dead.  I hope she got a new phone.  We never called back.