Parades

  When I got back to Columbia from Greenville, I was staying at motels and still had a car.  I signed up to help Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer in his bid to become the next Governor of South Carolina.  It was not a paid position, but it was something to do, and I believed in the candidate.  Andre had been good to me, and I wanted to return the favor.  He was a good and decent man, which was rare in politics.  I also almost killed him twice earlier.  You can refer to that story in a previous entry.  There were five candidates in the field:  Andre, Attorney General Henry McMaster, State Senator Larry Grooms, Congressman Gresham Barrett, and State Representative Nikki Haley.

 During all my years on this Earth, I had never been in a parade.  I had seen a lot of them but had never participated.  That changed.  By the end of the campaign, I was a parade veteran.  My main job in the parades was to pass out "Andre" stickers to children.  It was free publicity.  And, if the children liked the stickers, maybe the parents would like the candidate.  So, in no particular order, here is the list of the parades:

 The Gilbert Peach Festival Parade in Gilbert, SC.  All of the candidates and volunteers walked the parade route, except for Nikki Haley.  She was in the back of a monster truck.  Some candidates passed out candy.  We passed out stickers.  Andre's mother rode on a trailer at the back of a pickup truck with a big sign.  Some people stayed for the peaches.  I finished up and went back to the motel.

 The Pelion Peanut Parade in Pelion, SC.  Once again, I handed out stickers.  The Shriners were right behind us on go-karts.  We were slower than they were, as they were doing their circles in the karts.  One went a little to wide and clipped my ankle.  It hurt, but I had to keep going.  Pelion is out in the country, so I found using a country accent worked well with blending in.  I also wore my Marines cap.  Whatever works.  Pelion is also home to a nudist camp nearby.  The women came to the parade dressed in skimpy bikinis.  Some of them were not attractive.

 The Okra Strut in Irmo, SC.  This one was a bit strenuous, because we had to walk uphill the entire time.  I was pretty winded, when I got to the top of the hill.  

 The Labor Day Parade in Chapin, SC.  I met Senator Lindsey Graham there.  It was before the parade was to start.  We had assembled in a school's parking lot.  He was sitting on the back of a convertible.  I went over to him to say hello.  He saw that I was wearing an Andre t-shirt.  He told me that he liked Andre very much.  I went back to one of Andre's staff members to tell him what Graham had said.  The staff member said that Graham would be for a dog catcher, if it meant he could get votes.  A true politician.  This parade was the longest we did.  We actually ran out of stickers, despite having 1000 to a roll.  I also ran into an old friend of my Macy's days there.

 The Little Mountain Reunion Day Parade in Little Mountain, SC.  I was working with an 18 year old boy.  He was a boxer at the nearby gym.  TV personality Joe Pinner walked up to us.  I knew Joe from way back.  He had also been the host of a children's program called "Mr. Knozit". And, he was the unofficial mayor of Little Mountain. Joe started talking to the boy and asking him a bunch of questions about his life.  I could tell the boy was a little star-struck and uncomfortable.  When Joe left, the boy turned to me and asked, "Was Mr. Knozit hitting on me?"  I laughed and told him no.  That was just Joe.

 The Columbia Christmas Carillon Parade in Columbia, SC.  I had seen that parade almost every year as a kid, as it went down Main Street.  Now, it went down Gervais past the State House.  Thankfully, it went downhill, which made it easier for me.  

 The Cayce/West Columbia Festival of Lights Parade in Cayce, SC.  This parade was at night.  It was dark and cold.  We walked a little over a mile, and then had to walk back to the staging area.  I had wished that I had brought a flashlight.  I kept running into the legs of children on the route.

 The Greer Christmas Parade in Greer, SC.  We got there a little late, because we weren't sure where to go.  Despite my living up there a year before, I had no idea where the parade was.  We accidentally found out by going the wrong way.  The police stopped us and showed us where the beginning of the parade was.  It was only a few blocks.  

 The Columbia St. Patrick's Day Parade in Columbia, SC.  This one was fairly long and some downhill.  Andre wasn't there at the parade, as he was running late.  We were told to tell the spectators that he was coming.  I was working with a guy named John, who was on Andre's staff.  He looked like Andre, only taller.  A man in the crowd yelled out "Andre"!  John told him he wasn't Andre.  I told him that he should have just smiled and shook his hand.  That guy would have told his friends that he had met the Lt. Governor.  Instead, that guy left the parade disappointed.

 The next few stories will also be about that campaign.  We had a blast.

Cancer

  When I was dealing with the pneumonia issue while being homeless, I had numerous chest x-rays at the hospital.  On one, they saw two spots on my lungs.  I tried to convince myself that they were two spots on the glass or on the film, but the doctors were convinced they were in my lungs.  They did an MRI and a CT scan to check them out.  By the way, when they tell you that the dye they are injecting into your vein will be warm, they ain't kidding.  The heat was a delayed reaction.  Then, they want you to lie still, while you feel like you are baking on the inside.  Not a fun time, unless you are a masochist.

 The hospital doctors suggested I go to an oncologist and recommended one off of Greystone Blvd.  I really didn't think I had lung cancer.  I had quit smoking in 1984.  This was 2010.  I had been around a lot of people who smoked and had inhaled second-hand smoke.  My friend Gayle had died from lung cancer, and she hadn't smoked a day in her life.  So, I decided to go to the oncologist just to confirm my belief that these were just spots.

 When I walked into that office, it looked like the Taj Mahal of doctors' offices.  There were windows everywhere, as well as aquariums. They had a gift shop and snack bar.  I wondered how many patients they had that allowed them to afford this.  I went up to the receptionist.  She asked if I had any insurance.  I didn't, so she sent me downstairs to the financial assistance office.  I talked to them and qualified for their assistance.  I didn't have to pay for anything.  That was a blessing.

 I was sent to the blood draw office.  There were a line of chairs with patients in each one.  There was a nurse at each chair.  I told the nurse that my arm veins rolled, and it would be better if she got it out of my hand.  She told me not to worry, and that she would go for the vein in my arm.  Before I knew it, she had taken two vials of blood out of my arm with precision.  It really was amazing.  I told her that she was much better than the nurses at the hospital, and she said that this was all she did all day and was quite proficient in drawing blood.  

 I was then assigned a doctor.  Mine was Dr. McElveen.  He was wonderful.  My blood work came back without a sign of cancer, but he said he wanted me to come in once a month to be sure.  I told him that I couldn't possibly afford all of this, and his response was:  "We are all in this world together".  I was so comforted by his words.  So, every month for a year I went back to be checked.  Blood work and examination.  No signs of cancer.  They did a PET scan on me to be sure.  Everything came back negative.  For about seven years after, I would get a bill in the mail from them for $202.  I wouldn't pay it, because I had indigent care.  However, it turned out that my care had overlapped a year from the first day, and I owed them $202.  So, I eventually paid it just to get it off of my credit report.

 About 8 years later, I had to go into the hospital, because I couldn't breathe.  They did a chest x-ray on me and saw those two spots still there in my lungs.  The doctors looked at my medical history and found my oncologist exams.  They also compared it to my chest x-rays in 2010.  The spots had not changed.  They decided that the spots were scars from the pneumonia.  No cancer.  I feel for all of my friends who have had to deal with that issue.  By the grace of God go I.

Concrete

  After I "graduated" from the mission, I spent two weeks at the Winter Shelter.  I was glad it was only two weeks.  There were some fights between the homeless.  The ambulance was a common sight.  One guy got beat over the head by a dud grenade in a sock.  My friend Bruce got beat up for asking another guy to turn down the volume on his radio.  Another guy froze to death outside, because they wouldn't let his dog come inside with him.  I said goodbye to my friend Mike who moved back to Ohio.  

 When the weather got warmer, we had to fend for ourselves.  One of the cardinal rules about being homeless was not to tell where you slept on the street.  You didn't want the police to hear about your place and make you move.  But, I can tell about them now, since the areas have changed.  The first was on Gregg St. on the porch of Mirci.  Kevin, Bill and I stayed there.  The porch was kind of small, so Kevin and I slept on the concrete.  Bill slept on the wheelchair ramp, which was made of wood.  Kevin gave a sleeping bag to me to use.  He also slept with four steak knives for protection.  The area had a problem with crackheads, which is why we needed the knives.  Sleeping on concrete is very difficult.  It makes your back and hips hurt.  There was a reason why the homeless slept in the library during the day.  It was impossible to sleep at night.  

 One night, we walked a couple of blocks to a man's house.  Kevin knew him.  We just wanted to sleep under a real roof, because it was going to storm.  While we were talking with him, we saw some black SUV's pull up into the driveway of the house next door.  The guy told us that we might want to get on the floor.  He said there might be some shooting.  As it turned out, the police raided that house for drugs.  We heard some pops.  The three of us decided that we would rather brave the storm instead of getting shot, so we walked back to our porch.  

 I would leave our porch around 6am to get some breakfast at the hospital.  After I left one morning, Kevin and Bill got robbed.  They thought I might have gotten tipped off about the robbery.  I hadn't.  It was just one of those things, but they didn't want me there anymore.  So, I hooked up with two other friends--Sandy and another Bill.  They were sleeping at the amphitheater in front of the art museum.  It was a strange place to be.  It was diagonally across from the Marriott.  Anyone with a room could see us.  It was behind some bushes, just steps from the sidewalk.  Police would drive by but not see us.  I slept on the stage.  Even though it was still concrete, it was a little easier to sleep.  When it would rain, we moved to a spot just outside a bank next door with an overhang.  The janitor would wake us up at 6am, when he came to work, but he didn't care if we were there overnight.  We had a couple of attempted robberies, but we fought them off.  Our place got so popular with the neighborhood that we had other guys staying with us.  

 If we pooled our money, we would get a motel room about once a week to sleep in a real bed and take a bath.  My friend Mark had a room at an extended stay motel on Two Notch Road.  He offered to let me stay there with him.  I had to pay him half of the rent for the place, which I was glad to do.  He had the double bed, and I slept on a fold-out couch.  He would want to watch late-night TV, which was right by my bed.  He would fall asleep watching it, and then I could turn it off, so I could sleep.  After a few days, I found out that Mark's father was paying for the room, and Mark was using my money to buy drugs.  I left one morning early and hiked  three miles to the nearest bus stop.  Mark called me and asked me where I was.  I told him that I had decided to go back downtown and stay with Sandy and Bill.  He thought I was crazy, but I didn't want to pay for his drugs.  I would rather have the hard concrete than the temptation of using drugs again.  It was the best decision that I made during those days.

 

Shorts

  I wanted to give you a few short things about my life on the street.  These little stories might make you laugh, or at least make you smile.  Although, some might not.

 Winter was coming on.  I wasn't prepared.  I had my long johns, but I needed more.  I don't remember the guy's name, but he recognized that I was cold.  He gave me a scarf and a cap.  That helped a lot.  The cap said "Marines" on the front.  I was in line for supper at the mission one night, and a guy saw my cap.  He asked if I had been in the Marines.  I nodded.  He asked when I was in the Marines.  I told him that it was Vietnam.  He told me his father had been in Vietnam, and asked me where I was stationed.  I just made up something.  My improvisational skills kicked in.  He then asked if I was in the Marines, why was I so skinny?  I just told him I had been sick.  He bought it.  It was all a lie.

 As I have said before, there were three main reasons why people were homeless (although there were many more).  Addiction, Mental Illness, and Economic (my group).  There was one guy on the street who liked to wear his underwear over his pants.  He also would run full steam into telephone poles.  He would knock himself out.  The ambulance would come and take him for a 28-day psych hold.  When the time was up, he would be released and doing the same thing.  He did this several times.  I hope he finally got some help.

 On Sundays, Trinity Episcopal would have breakfast for the homeless.  You had to be there in line as close to 6am as you could.  The doors opened at 7, and they gave out tickets for as many seats as they had.  My first Sunday there was the first time I ever saw anyone smoking crack.  These two guys were doing it while waiting in the line.  It wouldn't be the last time.  The breakfast was pretty good.  Afterwards, they would give you a bag lunch to take with you.  It consisted of a bologna sandwich, a banana, and a hardboiled egg.  I would take the banana and give away the rest.

 One cold Sunday night, I was walking toward Finlay Park.  A car pulled up, and a young man put down the window and called me over.  He said he had a warm bed at his house for me.  I politely said no.  Another afternoon, I was sitting in the park, when a very disheveled man came up to  me and offered to perform a sex act on me for $10.  I said no.  "$5?"  Again, I said no.  His name was Daniel.  I hope he got some help.

 I had a post office box.  One day, I got a check for $150 in the mail.  The note said that I would have to call an 800 number and reply how much I appreciated the money.  When they received my reply, the check could be deposited into my bank.  Everything was anonymous.  I would get a check about once every three months.  I also had to keep the gift a secret.  I don't know who did this nice thing for me, but I thank you.  I used the money for food and other things.  There were some guys who would get Social Security checks at the first of the month.  They would spend it by getting a room at the Marriott and ordering room service for a weekend.  Then, they would blow it all and go back on the street.  I never did that.

 I kept up with news and TV shows by watching them online at the library.  The Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue came out.  My homeless friend Mike and I accessed the issue online in the library.  The security guard threw us out for doing that.  He said it was pornographic.  The library computers had parental guards on them.  Maybe they should have blocked SI.

 The mission had different preachers to come in and do chapel at night for the residents.  There was one black preacher that liked to say "Amen" a lot during his sermon.  It became a sport for some of us to count how many amens he used.  In a 30-minute sermon, he managed to say "Amen" 149 times.  That record may stand to this day.