Famous

  In November of 2021, I was asked to be in a commercial for the Comet bus system here in Columbia.  I agreed.  I was to go downtown to the Transit Station and be interviewed on camera about why I ride the bus.  There was a public relations/advertising firm handling the project, and the interviewer was the same person as the one who interviewed me about the Alex Trebek picture.  She was now working for this firm, and I felt comfortable with her.  I wasn't the only person being interviewed that morning, but I seemed to have more experience than the others.  It was cold and rainy that day, and I had on my raincoat, which was also a trench coat.  They wanted me to wear it during the interview, although one lapel kept popping up.  The still photographer there was an old friend from the MTRA days.  We had a good laugh over my April Fool's story earlier about "Barbara".  

 The interviews were being done on a stationary bus toward the back.  Emily had told me what she was going to ask, but she also wanted the answers to be somewhat spontaneous.  She asked me what I liked about riding the bus, and I said that it provided independence for me and allowed me to get from point A to point B easily.  They used that in the commercial.  

 After the interviews were over, I told them that I didn't have anything else to do for the day, so they asked if I could ride with them and be some more spots.  Of course.  So, we went to the zoo and did a commercial there about a mother and two children going to the zoo.  Some of us did background work walking behind the family.  They had to do several takes, because one of the children didn't look excited enough.  We then went to the airport for another shot to show that the bus serves the airport.  On route to the airport, they wanted a shot of me and another guy talking on the bus.  There would be no sound for this.  So, I leaned over to the guy to improvise a conversation, and I asked him what was the meaning of life?  He was taken aback by my question, but he handled it very well.  Our "conversation" got on a commercial.  We also did an interaction with others on the bus.  We talked about voting.  Again, there wasn't any sound.  There was a voiceover in the ad.  

 We got to the airport, and they were going to shoot a spot of a couple getting off of the bus and heading to the terminal.  Then, they did another shot of them coming out of the terminal and back on the bus.  At one point, they were sitting on the bus with their luggage in the aisle.  I pointed out that the luggage couldn't be in the aisle, because it was against regulations.  It had to be realistic, so they moved the couple to another part of the bus, so that their luggage could be easily stored under the seat.  The folks arranged for us to have a free lunch at the airport.  First class all the way.

 We left the airport that afternoon and headed back downtown.  There was going to be a shot at a hospital of two nurses getting off of the bus, and we were in the background sitting in a bus shelter.  I was getting kind of tired.  There was one more site to go at a grocery store, but I asked if I could leave.  I was paid for my time with a Visa gift card, and I headed back to the transit station to catch the bus home.

 When I got on the bus, a woman asked me if I was famous?  She said she had seen me at the hospital, doing the commercial, and she wanted to know if I was famous.  She looked kind of excited about it, so I told her that I was famous, just to quiet her down.  It was the opposite reaction I was looking for.  She yelled out to everyone on the bus that I was "famous".  She then went on to announce that there was a "famous person on the bus".  Nobody asked me for my autograph, though.  

 The commercials came out in March, 2022.  They were on TV and online.  I think you can go to YouTube to see them.  My picture, along with others, is also being used for print ads and will be on posters around town at bus shelters.  So, yes, I am famous.  Autographs will be available in the lobby.

Barbara

  My mother had a great sense of humor.  She loved Alan King, Monty Python, the early George Carlin, and many more.  I used to read funny books to her in the kitchen, while she was cooking.  I read the newspaper comics to her, when she could no longer read due to the macular degeneration.  She loved to laugh.  She taught me how humor could get you through the day, when things didn't seem so good.  I developed a very dry sense of humor.  Sometimes, people didn't get my humor and thought I was being serious.  Such was the time in 2021 on April Fool's Day.

 I had thought about what I would write on Facebook for that day.  I knew I wanted to concoct a story that wasn't true, but what?  I have been single all of my life.  There are several reasons why I have never married.  Trust issues.  Commitment issues.  Too much fun being single.  Career being more important.  Hurt issues.  I have been in love several times throughout my life, but I just couldn't commit.  So, I thought that would be my prank.

 I looked through Google stock photos and found a woman, who looked to be in her forties.  She wore glasses and was sitting outside on a deck of a house, and she was looking over some papers.  She looked like a schoolteacher.  She was the one.  I named her Barbara after a girl who lived across the street from me back in elementary school.  I liked Barbara, but her family moved away, and I was very sad to say goodbye to her.  So, this fictional "Barbara" taught middle school and lived in Shandon.  I wrote that she and I had met during the pandemic.  Her house was on the bus line, and I would visit her as often as I could.  She invited me to go to her church, and I was looking forward for her to go to my church.  We were in love, and I asked her to marry me.  She said yes.  We had not set a wedding date because of the pandemic.  I went into great detail about "Barbara".

 So, I posted the story on Facebook.  There were all these people congratulating me on my upcoming marriage.  These people thought I was serious.  I was getting comments like "It's never too late" or "She looks like a nice person".  People were very happy for me.  During my story, I had put in little clues as to why it was fake, such as her house was on the bus line, but there isn't a bus that goes through "her" neighborhood.  Of course, most of my Facebook friends don't ride the bus, so I could understand them missing that clue.  Another clue was why didn't "Barbara" drive me home?  She had a car.  There were a handful of friends who realized the story was fake, but the majority did not.

 I let the joke continue all through April Fool's Day.  The congratulatory messages kept coming.  So, I started responding to the messages with "April Fool's".  Some people saw that response, but others didn't.  The next day, I wrote an apology message to my friends that the story was fiction.  There was no "Barbara".  I didn't know who that woman was in the picture.  There was not going to be a wedding.  I apologized to those who I had duped.  My humor got the best of me, and of them.  The moral of my story is to think about the day, when something is posted.  And maybe, I'm just kidding.  

Alex

  Back in early 2020, I wanted to get Alex Trebek's autograph.  I knew he was ill, and I thought it would be good to get it before he died (obviously).  I emailed Jeopardy and was told that Alex doesn't like to do things via email, but I could write to him by sending a letter to his Jeopardy address.  One curse about writing everything on the computer is that you forget how to write in longhand.  It is almost unreadable, even for me.  After all, I took a handwriting course in 4th grade summer school, because it was so bad.  Now, it was almost impossible.

 I got out pen and paper and wrote to Alex.  I tried to write an inspirational letter to him, as I knew he was going through a lot.  I told him my story of suffering from depression and becoming homeless.  I told him about praying to God to rescue me from that situation, and that He prepared me for the next chapter of my life which was to help others whether through encouraging others or through the bus system.  I told him how encouraging he was in helping people through their struggles with cancer.  I also asked for an autographed picture.

 I mailed off my letter, hoping he could read it.  About a week later, I got a large envelope in the mail from Sony Pictures/Jeopardy.  I opened it to find a picture from Alex with a note written at the bottom.  It read:  "Dear Walter, I am so glad you turned your life around and became a positive force for others.  Well done!  Alex Trebek".  I was deeply moved by his words.  I put the photo up on the wall next to my bed, so I would see it before going to sleep as a reminder to do good.

 In November of 2020, Alex Trebek died of his cancer.  It was on a Sunday.  One of my friends who works for WLTX TV in Columbia posted on Facebook that Alex had died.  He asked if anyone had any contact with Alex, because they were going to do a story.  I told him about the inscribed picture that I had gotten earlier in the year.  A reporter called me and asked if she could come over and interview me.  I said yes.  Because of Covid, we were both wearing masks.  She talked with me about the picture and inscription.  They used my interview that night on the local news.  It was kind of funny to me, because WLTX was the only local TV station that the MTRA wasn't featured on, but I did get in the interview about my helping others in the community after being rescued off of the street.  Thanks, Emily, for the interview, and thanks, Alex, for caring.

Shoulda

  I had been getting these pop-up messages that I had to renew my computer's virus protection from a company I no longer used.  Some of the messages told me that I should renew the expired protection.  These pop-ups were annoying.  I would just delete the message and move on.  The constant barrage of these messages became very annoying, so one morning I clicked on the link.  My goal was to tell these people I no longer wanted their product.  It was early November, 2021.

 All of a sudden, my computer started making these awful sounds.  They were very loud.  I couldn't cut off my computer.  It wouldn't let me.  A phone number popped up and said it was Microsoft.  My computer had been infected with a virus, and I needed to call the number.  I panicked.  The noise caused me not to think clearly.  I called the number.  A woman on the other end identified herself as working for Microsoft.  I asked her how I could end that terrible noise, and she told me which buttons to push.  I did what she told me to do, and it stopped.  I thanked her, and she told me that she would transfer me to a technician who could rid my computer of the virus.

 A man came on the phone and started to walk me through how he was going to rid my computer of the virus.  He would need to "take over" the computer and needed my password.  I was not thinking clearly at this point, so I gave it to him.  My screen started going through a lot of steps.  I was seeing all of my files flash before my eyes.  It looked like a science fiction movie.  After a couple of hours of this, he told me that he had removed the virus.  He recommended a comprehensive virus protector and would transfer me to a man who could help me with that.  I was feeling suspicious, but I still was in panic mode.  

 Another man came on the phone and said he was with a company based in Charlotte.  He wanted to sell me the complete package for $1500.  I told him that I didn't have that kind of money.  He told me that there was a package for $750 and asked if I could afford that one.  I told him that I had a credit card.  He asked me to give him the credit card number.  I was reluctant to do that, so I told him that I would call the credit card company.  He wanted to stay on the line, while I did that.  I called the company, but they told me they couldn't authorize a large payment like that.  They seemed to know who that was.  I told the man that the credit card company wouldn't authorize the charge.  He asked me if my bank would do it.  I told him I didn't have enough in the bank to cover it.  He asked how much I could afford to spend, and I told him $437.  He said that would be good, and that I could pay the rest later.  I gave him my bank account number, and it went through.  Looking back on it, I know that was stupid, but he just made it so I was having a problem thinking straight.

 I had written down all of the information and phone numbers during this ordeal.  It had been going on for about six hours.  I was mentally exhausted.  Around 5:30 that afternoon, I got a phone call from a man claiming to be from my bank.  He identified himself as an account representative.  I asked him why he was calling now, after the bank had closed, and he said that he hadn't left the office yet.  While I had him on the phone, I looked up the number on my computer and found the number was to the branch in Kingstree, SC.  I asked him why he got the issue and not the Columbia office.  He said he didn't know, but he could help me.  While we were talking, I asked him how long he had been working at the Kingstree branch.  He told me that it had been three years.  I asked him if he had been to Charleston, which was about an hour away from there, and he said no.  I knew this was fake.  I thanked him for his call, but I would go to my bank in person the next day and take care of things.

 The next day, I took the bus out to my bank's branch to report the incident.  They told me that I had been scammed, and my financial data had been compromised.  I asked if they could put a hold on the $437, but they said no.  However, they could file a claim against the withdrawal, but that would take three months.  I had to change my account number and get a new debit card.  I also told them about the Kingstree call, and they told me that their security office would take care of that.  The crook had ghosted that phone number.  My bank was very nice in dealing with this massive problem that I had gotten myself into.  

 There was a computer repair store near my bank, so I went to them to ask them what I should do.  They also knew about the scam and told me to bring in my laptop that afternoon, which I did.  Their technician cleaned everything from my computer including malware that the crooks had placed on my computer.  I changed all of my passwords which was laborious.  I called my credit card company and asked them to close out my old account and issue me a new one.  They told me to call Equifax and put a freeze on my credit to avoid the crooks trying to open a new credit card in my name.  I also contacted the computer company in Charlotte and told them that someone was using their company to steal money from people.  I also filed a police report and contacted the Feds.  I didn't know how I would cope without $400 in my bank account, because I live on a fixed income.  Out of the blue, a friend called me.  I hadn't talked to him in several years.  He just wanted to see how I was doing.  I told him what had happened, and he asked what my mailing address was.  He sent me a check to cover the loss.  God had His hand in that.

 After talking to some people about that incident, I got advice from some.  I should have not called that "Microsoft" number but rather a real Microsoft number.  I should have taken the battery out of my laptop and taken it directly to a repair shop.  I should have not given my financial information to the crook.  Shoulda, Shoulda, Shoulda!  I'll know if it happens again.  This is a cautionary tale to anyone that it happens to.  Don't panic.  Just shoulda.

Martin

  Back in 1978, I was working in the Record Department at Sanger-Harris Department Store in Ft. Worth.  It was a dream job.  I could listen to music and sell it.  I listened to everything.  I had to, because people would come into the store and not know an artist.  They might not even know the song, but they could sing a little bit of it.  One time, a woman came in and said she wanted the song with a train whistle.  That was Willie Nelson's song.  I was also exposed to music I didn't normally listen to like Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys.  Good stuff.

 Around that time, there was a comedian that was gaining popularity.  His name was Steve Martin.  He had released a comedy album called "Let's Get Small".  It was hilarious.  We had an 8-track player in the department to play stuff on.  We had it in our rotation of tapes to play.  Steve's album got some criticism from some customers of some foul language, so I was told I could only play it at night.  No problem.  He released another album called "A Wild and Crazy Guy", and we played that at night, too.  Another big hit at the time was a band out of Saturday Night Live called The Blues Brothers.  We had a rockin' good time at night.  Our record distributor would provide us with posters and other promotional material for our department.  We were his number one account in sales.  One thing that he brought us was a life-size standee of Steve Martin that we stood up in the department to advertise his two lp's.  One night, it disappeared.  Our distributor was furious.  We could take home the posters, but that standee was special.  There were only a few of them made.  He wanted to know where it went.  Nobody knew.  It had gone into my car and into my apartment.  I still have it.  As far as I know, there are only two still in existence.  I have one and Steve Martin has the other one.

 So, it was announced that Steve Martin, Martin Short and Paul Shaffer were coming to the Township Auditorium in Columbia in 2020.  I had to go.  I knew Martin Short's work from his time on SCTV and in "Three Amigos" which also starred Steve and Chevy Chase.  Paul was David Letterman's band leader and had been on SNL.  It was going to be a perfect night.  I bought a ticket for the balcony, because that's where I like to sit.  

 Then Covid came.  Everything was cancelled or postponed.  I was crushed.  I got a refund for my ticket.  Then, it was announced in 2021 that the show had been rescheduled for the fall.  I had to go.  It was also announced that Paul wouldn't be with them, but his replacement would be Jeff Babko who was in Cleto and the Cletones.  They also were the house band for Jimmy Kimmel Live. They also had the Steep Canyon Rangers bluegrass band.  Being a member of The Township, I got to get my ticket a day before the general public.  I splurged and bought a third-row seat in the center.  It was way more than a balcony seat, but it was my only shot to see two of my comedy idols.  

 I sat next to a man and his wife from Florida.  We talked a lot about music, as it seems that he played with Lynyrd Skynyrd and Marshall Tucker back in the day.  I wish I could remember his name.  The show started.  I wish I had stood up to applaud, but I sat.  Steve made a joke about that great sitting ovation.  If I had stood up from the third row, he would have seen me and may have singled me out.  They were all great.  I had taken a picture on my phone of the standee to show him, if I was fortunate to see him after the show, but that didn't happen.  

 After the show, I walked up to Baptist Hospital to call a taxi to take me home.  I went inside of the hospital to tell them that I wasn't loitering.  I was just waiting on a cab.  I continued to wait.  After almost an hour, a security guard came outside and told me that he expected it could be at least another hour.  He asked me if I had ever used Uber.  I hadn't.  He told me what to do.  After I got in touch with them, an Uber car arrived within minutes.  I knew the security procedure to check for the license plate.  A couple of years before, a USC student had called an Uber and got into the wrong car.  She was murdered.  I paid upfront, and the man took me home.  I also cancelled the cab.  Uber was much cheaper than a cab.  It was a great night all around.