Wino

 George Carlin did a great bit early on called "Wonderful WINO Radio".  This entry isn't about that, but if you want a laugh, find the bit online.  This story is about a time I backslid.  As most of you know, I had a drinking problem.  In fact, I am a recovering alcoholic.  I cringe at those ads on TV that say that they can cure your alcoholism.  They can't.  I know that I am one drink away from going back to my heavy drinking, so I choose not to.  However, there was one night that I let the temptation get the better of me.
 I had not had any alcohol since 1984, but it was Christmas 1999.  I had been invited to a Christmas party at a friend's house.  They were serving wine.  My thought was that it wasn't hard liquor, so I could handle it.  One problem of an addict, no matter what the substance, is thinking they can handle it.  I also wanted to be sociable and not make waves.  I guess I could have asked for a Coke or a juice, but wine is a kind of juice, isn't it?  Another problem with an addict is that you can't just have one and get away with it.  One leads to several more.  And on top of everything else, my resistance had been reduced in the 15 years since I had any alcohol.  In the old days, I could drink several vodka shots with no trouble.  Now, several glasses of wine later was affecting me in a whole different way.
 It was time to leave the party after a few hours of drinking wine.  I could barely get down the steps of the house.  One person asked if I was okay to drive.  Of course I was.   I had a little issue unlocking my car door, as I couldn't line up the key to the lock, but I was okay to drive.  There was a guy in another car that I decided to follow out onto the main road.  He eventually turned off to the right to go to his home.  I turned to the left to get to my home.  I took the left turn to wide and ended up in somebody's yard, almost taking out their mailbox.  I apologize for the tire marks in their front yard.  I got back on the street and continued home.  The most fortunate thing was that no police were out where I was.  I got home after swerving off of the road a few more times.  I didn't have to work the next day and slept it off.
 I have been offered all kinds of alcohol since then, but that wake up call in 1999 showed me that I could no longer drink anything stronger than soda.  I am polite, because those inviters don't know my story.  I would never tell them that I am an alcoholic.  But, you know.  So, I am almost 20 years sober now.  Good for me.