Parades

  When I got back to Columbia from Greenville, I was staying at motels and still had a car.  I signed up to help Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer in his bid to become the next Governor of South Carolina.  It was not a paid position, but it was something to do, and I believed in the candidate.  Andre had been good to me, and I wanted to return the favor.  He was a good and decent man, which was rare in politics.  I also almost killed him twice earlier.  You can refer to that story in a previous entry.  There were five candidates in the field:  Andre, Attorney General Henry McMaster, State Senator Larry Grooms, Congressman Gresham Barrett, and State Representative Nikki Haley.

 During all my years on this Earth, I had never been in a parade.  I had seen a lot of them but had never participated.  That changed.  By the end of the campaign, I was a parade veteran.  My main job in the parades was to pass out "Andre" stickers to children.  It was free publicity.  And, if the children liked the stickers, maybe the parents would like the candidate.  So, in no particular order, here is the list of the parades:

 The Gilbert Peach Festival Parade in Gilbert, SC.  All of the candidates and volunteers walked the parade route, except for Nikki Haley.  She was in the back of a monster truck.  Some candidates passed out candy.  We passed out stickers.  Andre's mother rode on a trailer at the back of a pickup truck with a big sign.  Some people stayed for the peaches.  I finished up and went back to the motel.

 The Pelion Peanut Parade in Pelion, SC.  Once again, I handed out stickers.  The Shriners were right behind us on go-karts.  We were slower than they were, as they were doing their circles in the karts.  One went a little to wide and clipped my ankle.  It hurt, but I had to keep going.  Pelion is out in the country, so I found using a country accent worked well with blending in.  I also wore my Marines cap.  Whatever works.  Pelion is also home to a nudist camp nearby.  The women came to the parade dressed in skimpy bikinis.  Some of them were not attractive.

 The Okra Strut in Irmo, SC.  This one was a bit strenuous, because we had to walk uphill the entire time.  I was pretty winded, when I got to the top of the hill.  

 The Labor Day Parade in Chapin, SC.  I met Senator Lindsey Graham there.  It was before the parade was to start.  We had assembled in a school's parking lot.  He was sitting on the back of a convertible.  I went over to him to say hello.  He saw that I was wearing an Andre t-shirt.  He told me that he liked Andre very much.  I went back to one of Andre's staff members to tell him what Graham had said.  The staff member said that Graham would be for a dog catcher, if it meant he could get votes.  A true politician.  This parade was the longest we did.  We actually ran out of stickers, despite having 1000 to a roll.  I also ran into an old friend of my Macy's days there.

 The Little Mountain Reunion Day Parade in Little Mountain, SC.  I was working with an 18 year old boy.  He was a boxer at the nearby gym.  TV personality Joe Pinner walked up to us.  I knew Joe from way back.  He had also been the host of a children's program called "Mr. Knozit". And, he was the unofficial mayor of Little Mountain. Joe started talking to the boy and asking him a bunch of questions about his life.  I could tell the boy was a little star-struck and uncomfortable.  When Joe left, the boy turned to me and asked, "Was Mr. Knozit hitting on me?"  I laughed and told him no.  That was just Joe.

 The Columbia Christmas Carillon Parade in Columbia, SC.  I had seen that parade almost every year as a kid, as it went down Main Street.  Now, it went down Gervais past the State House.  Thankfully, it went downhill, which made it easier for me.  

 The Cayce/West Columbia Festival of Lights Parade in Cayce, SC.  This parade was at night.  It was dark and cold.  We walked a little over a mile, and then had to walk back to the staging area.  I had wished that I had brought a flashlight.  I kept running into the legs of children on the route.

 The Greer Christmas Parade in Greer, SC.  We got there a little late, because we weren't sure where to go.  Despite my living up there a year before, I had no idea where the parade was.  We accidentally found out by going the wrong way.  The police stopped us and showed us where the beginning of the parade was.  It was only a few blocks.  

 The Columbia St. Patrick's Day Parade in Columbia, SC.  This one was fairly long and some downhill.  Andre wasn't there at the parade, as he was running late.  We were told to tell the spectators that he was coming.  I was working with a guy named John, who was on Andre's staff.  He looked like Andre, only taller.  A man in the crowd yelled out "Andre"!  John told him he wasn't Andre.  I told him that he should have just smiled and shook his hand.  That guy would have told his friends that he had met the Lt. Governor.  Instead, that guy left the parade disappointed.

 The next few stories will also be about that campaign.  We had a blast.