Recording

 The Cobbwebs had not officially recorded any new music for a few years, but it was time to get back in the studio.  Our first cd was "Magic Boat", and it did very well in some countries in Europe.  Not so much in the U.S., except on the west coast.  So, we wanted to try again.  I was living in Greenville; Del was living in Columbia; and Chris was outside Nashville.  Chris had a recording studio in his home, so we went there.  Del's father drove him up to Greenville to meet me.  I rented a car, and the two of us went to Tennessee.  

 The trip through the mountains was a long one, and we encountered snow and ice along the way.  I know how to drive in that stuff, but going along winding roads on an interstate was interesting.  Del was sure we were going to slide off and die, but I made sure we didn't.  We got to Chris's house late in the day and settled in for a good night's sleep and recording the next day.  We had about three days to make it work.  Del and Chris locked themselves in the studio, and I spent the time on the computer and watching TV, since I didn't play any instruments or sing.  I just wrote the lyrics.  When I got bored, I went upstairs to the studio and watched the recording.  Del and I slept in one of their kids' rooms.  The bed was small but okay.  It reminded me years before, when I slept in a small bed on a choir trip to Georgia.  

 One night, a friend of theirs named Kimber Manning came by.  She was a country and gospel artist.  She seemed nice.  After marathon recording sessions, the cd was complete.  We left Nashville (Antioch) without seeing much of the city.  We did go to a couple of used record stores while there.  It had snowed overnight there, and we left with ice on the road once again.  We came there on I-40, which was a pretty boring drive, so we decided to go back on I-75 to Atlanta and then up to Greenville.  I must say that I-75 is not my favorite drive.  The roads are winding around Chattanooga, and then there is a steep drive down toward Atlanta.  Thankfully, there wasn't ice on the drive down the mountain.  Had there been, they had places along the road that you could get off.  Mainly they were for trucks that lost brakes, but we didn't try to imitate "The Dukes of Hazzard" flying off of a ramp into some dirt.

 While we were making the trip back, Del and I were listening to the demo cd from the recording sessions.  We were picking out what could be the hits, or the singles for release.  Del is very critical of his work, much like I am, and he was very pleased with the vocals and arrangements.  The plan was for Chris to mix everything at his studio and come out with a final product in about a week.  Del's father met him in Greenville and took him back home to Columbia.  I turned in the rental car, and waited for the final cd.

 A few days later, Del emailed us to say that upon further listening that he was not pleased with the outcome.  He said it sounded too Country, and we were a Rock and Roll band.  As it turned out, he let his roommate listen to the cd, and those criticisms came from his roommate and not Del.  But, his roommate had convinced Del that the music wasn't good.  The Cobbwebs had an agreement early on that it had to be a unanimous vote to proceed, and the vote was 2-1 with Del voting no.  So, the cd was scrapped.  Some of the music has appeared online, but The Cobbwebs has never been a band since.  We made some good music, dare I say "great music".  Everyone has said they liked our work.  You might hear some of it on YouTube by typing in the name "Cobbwebs".  Be sure and spell it like that.  There might be some stuff on other music sites, too.  I hope you like it.  Just thinking about what might have been.

George & Renee

 Just before I moved to Greenville, a movie called "Leatherheads" was filmed there.  It was directed and starred George Clooney along with Renee Zellweger.  Around April 1st, the city announced that they would be giving the key to the city to those two and everyone should come out to welcome them.  They would also be doing autographs.
 I went to a local bookstore and found a magazine called "Creative Screenwriting", which I had never heard of, but it had a nice cover picture of the two from the movie.  I bought it with my intentions of getting them to sign it.
 The big day arrived, and I went downtown to the Poinsett Hotel for the celebration.  When I got there, many people had already arrived.  I got a place near a fence surrounding a fountain out front.  The mayor was there to do the honors.  After the presentation, the two stars began signing things.  The film company had passed out 11"x17" mini-posters of the movie for those getting autographs, but I wanted them to sign my magazine.  As George approached me, he was signing fast.  I stuck out my magazine for him to sign, and he did.  I said "Thank you", and he said "You're welcome".  He was very nice.  Then, it was Renee's turn to go through the gauntlet of fans.  She got about five along and stopped.  I was close to her and heard her tell her assistant that she couldn't get her high heels through the bricks that were in front of the hotel, so she would have to stop signing.  I yelled out at her assistant could she please just sign one more.  Her assistant handed my magazine to her, and she signed it.  I was the last person she signed for that day.  So, I had both autographs on my magazine.  Most people just got George's.
 After he had made the rounds through the crowd, they both went inside to have a little lunch.  Most of the crowd left, but there were a few of us who stayed around hoping for another glimpse or autographs.  We were told by their people that they would be coming out of a side door to get in their cars, and we should wait there.  About 15 of us waited.  Finally, they emerged through the side door.  We were yelling "Renee" and "George".  I had my black sharpie with me just in case, and I had my mini-poster to get signed.  Renee waived and got into her car.  George came over to us and said he was going to be late for his flight, but he signed a few in the front.  I was toward the back of our group, so I didn't get him to sign my poster, but a little chaos broke out, and a woman in front of me started jumping up and down to get an autograph.  My sharpie slipped, and I "signed" her arm.  I bet she thought George had signed her arm.  I wonder if she ever washed it off.  He waived to us and thanked us for coming.  He got in his car and they left.  George Clooney was extremely gracious.  Renee Zellweger I think was a bit overcome by the crowd, but at least I got them both to sign my magazine.  No one else could say that, and that is special to me.

Greenville

 Back in April 2007, my friend Jimmy invited me to come to Greenville for the weekend.  He knew I was unhappy in my job, and he proposed that I move there.  When I arrived there, it was on Saturday.  I was blown away by how vibrant the downtown was.  I had remembered Greenville as being dark and dreary, but I found it to be bustling with excitement.  It was clean with a lot of green parks.  It was the exact opposite of Columbia, and I knew that this was the place I wanted to live in.  I had always loved the mountains from the time I was 3, and we lived briefly in Knoxville.  I had spent summers at Ridgecrest in North Carolina.  I felt at home in Greenville.
 When I came back home, I made plans to move.  By December, I had put in my notice at work that I wanted to be transferred to the Macy's store in Greenville.  We did the paperwork, and I moved to Greenville.  Jimmy said I could stay in his condo for free.  That was another exciting thing, since I was having a hard time paying my rent in Columbia.  The condo was on Pelham Road near East Church Street.  It was in a great location.
 The second day in Greenville, I went to Hayward Mall to the Macy's store to find out what my schedule would be.  I walked into the store and the manager walked up to me.  He knew me from my years in Columbia.  He knew of my success in Luggage.  He asked me what I was doing there.  I told him I was showing up for work, and his response was "What are you talking about?"  I told him that I was transferring to their store.  He told me that he didn't know anything about it.  We went to his office, and he called the Columbia store.  He said that they never sent the paperwork for transfer.  I was devastated.  Macy's Columbia had screwed me over.  I knew the HR person didn't like me, but I never thought she would stoop that low.  Greenville didn't have any openings, so I was out of a job.  I decided to cash in my 401k to live.
 Living in Greenville was exciting.  There was always something to do.  Arts fairs were almost every weekend.  Museums were free.  There were concerts all the time.  The stress of work went away.  It was almost like Heaven.  And the people were very friendly.  People would pass you on the sidewalk and say hello.  If you did that in Columbia, they would look at you funny.  It was common practice in Greenville.  I went to one McDonald's on Augusta Road for breakfast, and the woman there would charge me less than other places, just because she liked me.  I knew this is where I needed to be.  I rediscovered happiness.

Postal

 After Macy's had been in charge of our store for a few years, they decided to cut the hours of the employees.  Those of us who were full-time got more responsibilities.  I still had an award-winning Luggage Department, but now I was expected to learn all I could about Housewares, Small Electrics, China, and Bed Linens.  The ironic thing was I had no clue how to cook, so that area was very challenging.
 So now, I had five departments to work in.  Not just one.  I didn't mind China, because there were fun people to work with.  I also had to learn the Bridal Consulting job.  I registered brides for gifts.  With Housewares, Small Electrics and Bedding, I hoped they knew what they wanted already.  After all, I didn't know what a sham or a duvet was.  Maybe they did.  I did learn something about China, and I could work a computer, so that was a big help.  However, there were times when I had to work all five departments at once.  I wished that the management would give us skates to get around.  Customer service suffered during this time, and I am afraid that some people took some things out of the door without paying.  It was impossible to watch everything.  Sometimes I would hear these words from a customer, "Isn't there anyone to wait on me?"  I would then come running.  Consequently, I would walk from place to place on the floor and not stop anywhere unless I was ringing something up for a customer.
 By 2007, the stress of having to make the rounds was wearing on me.  I was coming home exhausted every day.  And to top it off, I had not had a raise in 4 years.  The raises were based on your yearly review.  30% of the review was whether or not you had made your quota in opening credit cards for customers.  I didn't want to do that.  When I filed for bankruptcy in 2006, I was overextended with credit cards.  I knew that people that would open cards would also get overextended.  These were the people that would want Macy's charge cards, so in good conscience, I wouldn't do it.  So, I would not get a raise.  It didn't matter that my Luggage Department was in the top 5 of the entire Macy's company.  It didn't matter that I had very high customer service reviews.  I didn't open credit cards, so I didn't get a raise.
 With the cost of living going up, and me making the same thing for four years, I could no longer make ends meet.  I started asking friends for money just so I could pay my rent.  Some people suggested I should get food stamps, but I didn't think I was poor enough for them.  I should have done it.  I was eating cheap food.  I could no longer afford to live, which sunk me into depression.  I tried everything to get some money, short of robbing a bank.  A friend, who lived in Greenville, offered me a free place to stay up there, if I would move.  I said yes.
 Right before Christmas 2007, I turned in my resignation at Macy's.  It sent shockwaves through the store.  The store manager asked why, and I told her that I had not had a raise in 4 years and could no longer afford to live.  She offered me a 25-cent raise, if I would stay.  There was no way I could do that.  I was getting angry at everything and everyone.  I knew that if I stayed any longer there, that I would go "postal" either on customers or employees or both.  Then, I would be fired, so I took the only out I could.
 Two days before my last day, our store's maintenance man died.  He had a bad heart.  He was a big fan of Big Brother as I was.  I would tell him what had happened on the show before it aired having seen it online, and he would bet his wife that one person would win the veto or was about to be voted off of the show.  He would win the bets, and his wife was never the wiser.  He was much beloved in the store.  I went to his funeral, which was a day after my last day at Macy's.  There was a lot of crying.  Unfortunately, there was a going away party planned for me that night.  Instead of it being a happy time, the mood was rather somber.  I didn't like leaving that way.
 I really liked working at Rich's.  When Macy's took over, the mood changed.  I adapted the best I could, but in the end the demands were just too much.  I had asked to transfer to the Macy's store in Greenville if I could work in Luggage up there.  I knew all of the people there in the Home Store and management.  Our personnel manager filled out the paperwork.  I was ready to move to a better place.

Safety

 One day in 2007, Macy's corporate announced a contest to produce a one-minute video on safety.  The winning entry would be used in all the stores in the company to promote safety.  There would also be a cash prize for the winner.  Our store manager knew I had theatrical experience, so she asked me to write a script and film it.  I had a camcorder.
 I wrote a story about a couple of customers who bought some comforters and headed to the escalator.  The comforters were so big that they caused the two to lose their balance and fall on the escalator.  A sales associate would scream out for "Super Macy" who would show up and save the day.  I cast two associates in the Bedding Dept. to play the two customers.  An associate from Housewares played the screaming associate, and "Super Macy" was played by the head of our security office.
 We had to film the video before the store opened, so we wouldn't have any distractions.  The first shot was the two customers paying for their items and dragging them to the escalator.  I followed them with the camera.  I had never shot video like this before, but I just channeled the times I had done film work to do the directing and technical end.  We went through several takes of them walking down the aisle.  The shooting also went on for a few days.  It had to be perfect.  Each night, I would take home the video I shot and put into my VCR to edit.  I noticed that the audio wasn't coming through, and a weird noise replaced the sound.  I came back into the store the next day and asked around if anyone else had a camcorder.  An associate in Furniture let me borrow hers.
 I started back from scratch.  Over two days, I was able to shoot everything.  When we got to the scene where the customers fall on the escalator, we had to do that a few times to get the fall right.  The first woman had to lean back and fall into the second woman behind her who was supposed to grab the rail and fall down.  On one take, one of the women fell on the escalator step and cut her leg.  After we patched it up, we went back to filming.  She was a trooper.  Then came the scene for "Super Macy" to arrive at the top of the escalator.  She was wear a tight body leotard with an "SM" on her chest and a cape behind her.  She came down the steps and helped the two fallen women.  Her line was something like "take the elevator with heavy items like these".  The women said they would.  The End.
 I took the video home and edited it down to a minute.  I brought the dvd into the store for the management to see it.  They loved it and sent it into corporate.  The requirements included creativity and getting the safety message out.  I thought I had accomplished both criteria.  So, when it came time for the decision, we lost.  I think we might have come in third.  I never saw the winning entry, but they kept our video, so maybe they used in in some of their stores.  At least, I was able to put on my resume director and cinematographer of a video.

S&L

 Back in the early 2000's, I wanted to do my series of Bible-character monologues in churches around South Carolina.  I had been doing them since 1979.  What better place to get advice than the South Carolina Baptist Convention headquarters, aka the "Baptist Building".
 The head of the education division was a guy I went to seminary with and was in our drama group there.  In fact, he had played "Satan" in the play I directed for my thesis called "The Harrowing of Hell".  My father had been head of the Sunday School department at the "building" until is retirement in 1976.  When I got there, I made mention to some of the workers about my father.  Most said they had no idea that he had worked there.  I was floored.  My father was a pioneer in the Southern Baptist Convention.  I realized that some people aren't interested in history.  You need history to know where you are going.
 I talked with my friend there, and he suggested I speak with a man who worked in the Music/Worship Arts Department.  I knew the head of that department.  His children had seen me in the play "The Butterfly That Blushed" at Columbia College some 20 years before and still thought of me as "Worm".  I talked to this guy, whose name was Tom.  He asked me what church I went to, and I said that it was St. Andrews Baptist in Columbia.  His face lit up and said that was his church.  He had been looking to put together a Drama group at the church and wanted to know if I would be interested.  It was a volunteer position, and I said yes.
 We got a few others interested in the project and then tried to get a name for our group.  We finally settled on The Salt and Light Players.  Tom used his library to find scripts for us to do.  Our pastor at the time wanted us to do skits before his sermons to preview what he was going to preach on.  He would tell us a week or two in advance, and then we would work on something to do.  I wrote most of those skits.  My favorite was one about explaining baseball to someone with no concept of the game.  Our pastor was a big Atlanta Braves fan, so I was able to weave that into the skit.
 The church had two morning services.  The first was around 10am, which was a contemporary service.  The second was at 11am, and that was the more traditional service.  We would do the skits at both.  The earlier service was a bit more relaxed, and the reception we got was also a bit different than the traditional.  Years later, I met a woman at my current church who told me that she did the music at St. Andrews in the contemporary service, when I was there.  She remembered my work.  Small world.
 We also did more formal presentations for Easter and Christmas which were scripted from other sources.  We were in Biblical costume for one.  I knelt down, and my robe caught on my sandal.  As I tried to stand up, I couldn't.  One of the other actors got me up.  We covered it with throw away dialogue.  The congregation never knew.
 When I was in seminary, I wrote a Reader's Theatre one-act for Christmas.  I found that reading a script could be done in a church setting.  The other folks in our group like reading rather than memorizing, so we did that.  I directed and helped in those works.  The church also let me do some of my original Bible character monologues from time to time.  We also hosted a statewide Drama conference at our church.
 By 2007, we got another pastor who didn't want the same emphasis on Drama as our previous pastor, so the Salt and Light Players fell away.  When I graduated from seminary, I had offers to go to individual churches to do Drama.  I had declined those offers, because I wanted to teach Drama in a college.  That didn't work out, so I started doing stuff on my own as a guest at a church or other venues.  I ended up doing Drama for my local church, after all.  A friend told me something profound once.  It was about something else, but I think it fits here.  Sometimes, you get on a detour, but eventually you will get back to the main road.  My "main road" was Church Drama, at least for 5 years.

Nose

 As anyone will tell you, the day after Thanksgiving is the one day that almost all retail workers dread.  They have to put up with long lines and screaming customers.  In 2006, I was working in the Home Store at Macy's.  I got there at 6am and was put on the register in Housewares.  When ringing customers on that day, you have to get into a rhythm.  You say "Thank You" a thousand times.  It was no different that day.  Ring the merchandise; bend over to get a bag; put the stuff in the bag; and thank the customer.
 I was supposed to have someone stand next to me and do the bag part, but not this morning.  After two hours of this, my supervisor came up to me and whispered in my ear to take a break.  I was very happy to do so.  We had brought food and put it in the stockroom, so I was ready for some breakfast.  I headed to the stockroom and opened the door.  The food looked great, but I felt that my nose was running.  I dabbed at it and found I was getting a nosebleed.
 I had them from time to time.  Once in a play in college after being hit during a fight scene.  The audience asked after it how I got fake blood up my nose.  It was real.  I have been "blessed" with thin membranes that I inherited from my Mother.  But, this bleed was nothing like that.  I couldn't stop it.  I pinched my nose, but that didn't help.  I put my finger under my nose and pressed.  It didn't work.  I put ice on it, but that just made my nose cold.  It still bled.  I used the phone in the stockroom and called out to the floor.  I needed to see my supervisor.
 She got the message and came back there to find blood on the floor and all over my clothes.  I was bleeding profusely.  She got a towel for me to catch the blood, but it still wasn't stopping.  This had been going on now for at least an hour.  She saw that we needed more help, so she called our first aid person who was also in charge of security.  I felt bad about her coming, because this was the biggest sales day of the year, which meant also the biggest theft day of the year, but she came with her first aid kit.  She stuck gauze up my nose, and the bleeding started to subside.  It had now been almost two hours since I had gone on break.
 It was decided that I needed to go home, but how could I get to my car without passing by numerous customers.  Macy's didn't have a back stairway like some stores had.  I had to get upstairs and out to the parking lot with the minimum people seeing me.  No need for them to get grossed out too.  They told me to do my best and walk fast.  I did walk by a man on the way who dropped his mouth open when he saw me.  He probably thought I had been in a fight with a customer.  I got to my car and drove home.
 I was off that Saturday and went to the doctor.  The bleeding had stopped, but it started up again in the waiting room.  At least the doctor could see what was going on.  They got it stopped and determined that dry air was the culprit.  I had bent down many times the day before to get bags, and the store's air was dry.  That started it all.  I was told to keep my nose moist and drink fluids.  One nurse suggested I get Vaseline and put a little up my nose.  That really did the job.  I have mentioned the Vaseline tip to other medical folks, and they have said they have not heard of that before, but it makes sense.
 When I went back to work the following Monday, I was treated with kid gloves.  That suited me okay.  No need to be overworked.