Fame

  One of my goals in Life was to be famous.  I grew up in a world of TV and movies.  I loved both as far back as I can remember.  My parents used the TV as a babysitter.  I watched everything.  I wanted that for me, too.  I wanted people to adore me as much as those people on the screen.  I started reading, when I was 3.  It was in the great literature called the newspaper comics.  By the age of 5, I was writing.  I wrote a TV commercial for OK Cereal starring Yogi Bear.  I sent into the advertising people, and they told me to come back in 18 years.  By then, OK Cereal was no more.  In the 4th grade, I wrote a song called "People".  A few months later, Herman's Hermits had a song called "Listen People".  It was remarkably like my song, but I didn't know anything about copyrighting at that time.  I knew I was creative, and I knew that was a step to being famous.

 By the time I got to junior high, my peers started calling me a loser.  They said I wouldn't amount to anything.  Even my high school guidance counselor told me that.  I started to believe them.  I had successes in high school Speech tournaments, but I wasn't famous.  I did find from that experience that I also had a talent for being someone else, which brought me to acting.  I didn't have to be me anymore.  I could escape into a character on the stage.  I got applause for my work.  People told me I was good.  In some circles, I had achieved fame.  But, I wanted everyone to know my name.

 I got roles in movies and on television.  I did commercials, too.  Some people would recognize me on the street, which was flattering, but I still wasn't famous.  At least, not in my mind.  I also had success in retail.  I sold more stuff than anybody in several departments.  I got a lot of awards, but I didn't see myself as famous.  

 Then one day, I realized something in talking to an actress friend from California.  She was famous.  People knew her from her name and her face.  She had loads of money from her work, but she told me something that struck me.  She wanted privacy.  Sure, she wanted to work and support her family, but she also wanted to go to the grocery store without being hounded by fans.  She wanted a life.  I told her that fame is put on you by others.  You are not famous by yourself.  Others put that moniker on you.  It is still good to work at your craft, but you are you.  No one can take that away from you.  

 For most people, fame is something one might have right now, but maybe not when History is written.  I appreciate people telling me how talented I am.  I may have attained fame in some circles.  However, it is no longer important for me to be famous.  I am me.  The rest is gravy.

 

Addiction

  My Mother told me once that I have an addictive personality.  She was so right.  Addiction comes in many forms.  It bothers me, when I see commercials on TV saying that someone can be cured from their addiction.  That is just not true.  One can choose not to do something anymore, but you are never "cured".  It is a choice.  

 I am an addict.  I have been an addict of one thing or another since junior high.  This may be shocking to some readers, but it is a true confession of mine.  I will always be an addict.  One's mind usually goes to alcohol or drugs, but there are so many more ways one can be an addict.  So, let's examine mine, shall we?

 My first addiction is to nude pictures.  It started, when I was 8.  I was in the gift shop at the Columbia Airport and saw my first girlie magazine.  I became obsessed with magazines like Playboy.  I found a couple of places in the woods, where kids would stash Playboy Magazines.  To say the least, it was eye-opening.  Later on, this addiction went to pornography.  By the time I was in high school, I had a fake ID, and I went to see movies for those people over 18.  At first, they were foreign films from France or Scandinavia.  Later, they were hardcore films from the U.S.  When I got to be 18. I could see them without my fake ID.  Without bragging, I would estimate I have seen thousands of these films.  When videotape came along, I was able to see these movies without leaving the house.  I also subscribed to Playboy TV on cable, as well as the magazine.  My need for this started to subside in 2009, when I had a conversion experience.  But, I am still an addict, even if I don't partake in the addiction.

 My second addiction is to cigarettes.  I was in junior high, when I discovered smoking.  I would ride my bike around and see cigarettes on the dashboard of a parked car that was unlocked.  I would steal them.  I would also ride around high school parking lots and smoke the cigarettes thrown on the ground by students who had been smoking in their cars between classes.  When I got home, I would wash my hands in mouthwash and eat a whole pack of breath mints to get the smell off of me.  I don't know if it fooled my mother, but I always had an excuse if she asked me about it.  I stopped smoking for a time, but picked it back up in college.  I graduated from cigarettes to cigars.  It made me look cool.  I stopped smoking in 1984 and really can't stand the smell of it anymore.

 My third addiction was shoplifting. I used the past tense here, because it is no longer an issue with me. This was mostly in junior high and high school.  I was in a club in high school made up of three boys.  Each trying to outdo the other.  I got an old army jacket and cut pockets out in the inside to put my stuff, unless the item was too big, and then I just carried it out of the store.  The main items I would take were toys, magazines, books and records.  In 1969, I got caught stealing a book from a department store.  I convinced the store detective that it was my first time, so he turned me over to my parents.  I should have gone to jail, because I had been taking stuff for at least four years.  That experience became a positive, when I worked in retail.  I knew what to look for.

 My fourth addiction is to alcohol.  I started on my trip to Europe and Israel in 1973.  It began with wine and brandy.  By the time I got to Presbyterian College, it moved on to beer and rum.  When I was in Fort Worth, I had graduated to vodka.  At the height of my drinking, I was putting down a six-pack of beer and a quart of vodka a day.  It is a miracle that I wasn't killed in an auto crash or with alcohol poisoning.  My last drink was in 1999.  I choose not to drink, but I know it would only take one to put me back in that stupor.  

 My fifth addiction is to drugs.  It started, when I went to college at Anderson.  I first did cocaine. I stopped, when I had such a bad nosebleed that it rivaled the horse's head scene from "The Godfather".  I also took uppers and downers to get me through plays and the aftermaths.  I also did a hit of LSD during that time, but it wasn't for me.  When I got to Presbyterian College, I was introduced to marijuana.  I didn't like it very much, except for one time in Atlanta.  I stopped doing any drugs after 1981. I know it would only take one to go back to that life.

 My sixth addiction may sound strange to some, but it is music collecting and memorabilia.  At one time, I had the second largest Beatles video collection in the world (verified).  I had to have anything Beatles.  Then, it moved to other things like autographs.  That is where I am now.  This addiction of mine is current.  I do sell my things on eBay, Amazon and Discogs online.  I am trying to not buy as much now, because I need money for food.  

 There are one or two more that I could write about, but I think you get the picture.  I have an addictive personality.  My addiction now is trying to inspire others and care about others.  Even though I will always be an addict, I am not the person I once was.  Thanks be to God and my Savior Jesus Christ.  Thanks also to my friends who got me through a lot of these issues.  Thanks.

Bootsy

  The Richland County Library invited people to come to an event one night in 2017 to see and hear Bootsy Collins.  For those of you who do not know of him, he is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as a member of Parliament-Funkadelic.  He plays bass guitar and has been rated #4 on Rolling Stone's top 50 greatest bassists of all time.  He has played backup to James Brown, Keith Richards and others. He had come to the library to promote a new release.

 The majority of the night, he spoke about his career and answered questions.  He did sing one song.  After the show was over, he was in the lobby to sign autographs.  I had brought an album on his that was given to me many years earlier by a co-worker.  While we were standing in line to meet him, a man from the library came around and told us that he would only sign copies of his new album and nothing else.  I was bummed.  I wasn't going to pay $30 for his new album, so I decided to leave.  I ran into a friend later who was there that night, and she told me that Bootsy signed everything and even took pictures with the fans.  So, that guy was wrong.  I trusted him to be telling us the truth.  I have trust issues, not just because of him, but also from my life's history of people telling me things, and then I find out they were lying.  Another example.  Bootsy Collins was cool, though.  

Winter

  When I was a freshman at Anderson College, I had a suitemate named Louis Nexsen.  He was sort of a hippie with long hair and a love for music.  Among the artists he introduced me to was the music of Johnny Winter.  He played rock and the blues.  He also played at Woodstock in 1969.  Louis had the album "Johnny Winter And Live".  We just about wore that album out.  

 In 2006, Johnny was to play at a Blues Festival in Columbia at Martin Luther King park in Five Points.  It was going to be outside.  It rained all day and into the night, but Johnny said he would perform no matter what.  The rain had turned the ground into mud.  It was almost over the top of my shoes.  He was a little late getting to the makeshift stage, but it was so worth it.  He played an electric guitar with no frets.  He was a virtuoso on the guitar.  Healthwise, he wasn't doing too good and had to sit on a stool for much of the performance.  I was standing just three rows from the front.  To see him pick on that guitar was truly a once in a lifetime experience.

 His brother Edgar Winter is probably more well-known that Johnny, but Johnny was the better musician.  Thanks to Louis for sharing that album with me.  He lit the fuse on my appreciation of the Blues.

Temps

  When I was a kid, my brother gave me an album for Christmas.  It was called "The Temptations Sing Smokey".  I loved that album.  It had their hit song "My Girl" on it.  Ever since then, The Temptations were one of my favorite groups.  I heard they were going to do a show at the SC State Fairgrounds, I knew I had to go.  They were on the bill with another great group called The Four Tops.

 There was excitement in the store that I worked in, because a fellow employee said she knew The Four Tops.  She was from New Jersey and had been to many of their shows.  She got a front row seat, and they acknowledged her during their show, so I guess she wasn't lying.  Even though I knew of The Four Tops, I wasn't familiar with much of their music, so I spent a little time preparing for the show by listening to some songs of theirs.

 The show was outdoors in the grandstand.  The stage had a cover over it which was a good thing, because it was pouring down rain throughout the show.  Umbrellas weren't allowed, but I was wearing my raincoat.  I found out that my raincoat didn't really work in hard and soaking rain.  It really didn't matter that I was taking a shower with my clothes on.  What mattered was seeing two superstar groups.  

 The Temptations had only one original member on stage that night.  That was okay.  They sang all of their hits anyway.  The Four Tops had at least three of the four original members.  Levi Stubbs was in bad shape health wise, so he sat on a stool the majority of the time.  He died not long after that show.  The Temps and the Tops came on the stage together to close out the show.  It was a great night, even though it was very soggy.  It was one of those shows where no one cared about the weather.  When I was homeless a few years later, we had a saying on the street.  If the weather was rainy, hot or freezing cold, we used to say:  "Just deal with it".  I did just that on that rainy night in Columbia.

Koger

  The Koger Center in Columbia mostly hosts music and theatre performances.  It opened in 1988, so it was fairly new for a 1990 show with Sid Caesar and Imogene Coca.  I had to go see these two comedy legends.  

 On the flight back from Barcelona to New York in 1973, the movie in our cabin was "Ten from Your Show of Shows".  It was a compilation of scenes from the classic TV show of the 1950's starring those two actors.  At the time, I was not familiar with that TV show, but I was laughing out loud in the plane.  I needed a good laugh or two on the plane, because my personal life had fallen apart from news from a friend that she was marrying someone else.  Sid Caesar went on to be in a lot of movies including a favorite:  "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World".  Imogene Coca also did a lot of movies including playing Aunt Edna in "National Lampoon's Vacation".  

 I called another friend of mine to see if she wanted to go to the show with me.  She said no.  That was the impetus for the song "She Said No" that I wrote for The Cobbwebs.  So, I went alone.  The show was hilarious.  Debbie should have gone with me.  Even though I was 15 years older than her, it was her loss.  Oh well.  

Longstreet

  I had not been to Longstreet Theatre on the University of South Carolina campus until I took in an event in 1980.  It was an appearance by two great actors:  Helen Hayes and Maurice Evans.  I had known her from one of my favorite movies called "Airport".  She was also known as the "First Lady of American Theatre" and had won an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony Award (EGOT).  Only a very few actors have done that.  He was an English actor I knew from the movie "Planet of the Apes" and the TV show "Bewitched".  Together, they were Theatre royalty.

 When one is an actor, one searches out for true talent.  Hayes and Evans fit that bill.  They performed some scenes together that night that were inspiring.  Even though both of them were up in age, they had not lost their magic of commanding an audience and their chemistry working together.  

 Another little story within this one is that I am a fan of Kevin Bacon's "Six Degrees of Separation".  The theory is that everyone can trace through their lives to linking everyone else living by tracing it back up to six times.  You don't have to know the person at the end of the tracing, but you know somebody that links you to that person.  So, in Helen Hayes's case, I worked with Burt Lancaster in "The Midnight Man", and he worked with her in "Airport".  In Maurice Evans's case, he worked with Charlton Heston in "Planet of the Apes", and I knew Chuck from a meeting in Texas in 1978.  So, I didn't know Hayes or Evans personally, but I knew people who knew them.  Try it for yourself.